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One of the things I like about my brand new club is that it doesn’t have a nickname but those guys over at BigSoccer insist on finding a name. So given the desperate need for personification of the club, a few things like Red Coats and X-Men and of the sort were suggested but quickly shot down. As I said in my posting there, the nickname must have a few requirements:

  1. No Animals: I always thought this a little uncreative. There’s so many animal teams out there that adding any more is a creative cop-out.
  2. Thee syllables at the most: Names should be short so they can be used in chants and quick water-cooler discussions. Anything longer than three syllables makes the tongue just not want to say it.
  3. Must not blatantly say “I am from Canada”: Yeah, we’re in Canada, but do we really need to highlight that fact in one of the most important marketing facets of the club? Look at the Vancouver Grizzlies; it only seemed like a good idea at the time.
  4. Must not be too abstract: I mean, how does “Galaxy” even make sense? A galaxy can’t possibly play football, can it? Unless they’re playing other galaxies on a pitch the size of a few solar systems. This is too far-fetched for my taste.
  5. Must sound tough: Like “The Gunners” and not like “The Addicks”. This is really important, people want to support a club that has a tough image and the media will latch on to this too. I remember years back when the Denver Nuggest really sucked and were in the middle of a 15 game losing streak, an ESPN sportscaster goes, “If you see the poor Nuggets, give them a hug”. We don’t want any room for that kind of talk.

So after considering these and other more philosophical details, I’ve come up with…..

..drum roll…

The Brigade

Seriously, what do you think? Nobody wants to mess with a freaking Brigade, do they? I can already sense the fear in the Kansas City Wizards locker-room when they’re about to play us, Hey man, tonight’s going to be a tough game, there’s a f**king Brigade in town. Even newspapers can have fun with this, imagine the newspaper headlines when we win a game: Brigade destroy Wizards or Brigade conquer Wizards. You get the idea.

But it’s really hard to just slap a nickname on a team. A lot can go wrong. Look at the Magic, Grizzlies, Bobcats, Rapids and so on. It’s much better to go nickname-less rather than have a crappy one. So I don’t mind it just being Toronto FC for the time being and if they really get a true nickname over time, we can use it to refer to the team or just use it informally. Sort of like the Rosonerri or Bianconeri as with AC Milan and Juventus respectively. Now those are nicknames that mean something.