I miss The Oak.

Barring something unforeseen and entirely out-of-the-blue, this Raptors team is headed for a one and done in the post-season. If that is to be the case, I’m hoping it’s a very humiliating series where this team is ripped apart in every game starting from tipoff to final buzzer. There shouldn’t be any doubts or questions about what the flaws of this team are, what the talent level on it is, how hard working the players are, how bad the coaching is, how suspect the preparation is and how watered down the on-court product is. The last thing I want is a first-round exit where we win two or three games and give false hope to the fans and management that this group might be more than a .500 team in a weak East. That’s one school of thought. The other is that we somehow win a playoff round (facing Orlando or whoever) and build on it in the off-season replacing key components instead of blowing the whole thing up. Fine, this might be a legitimate roadmap and something that I still subscribe to but what the previous fortnight has shown me is that instead of requiring maybe a legit 3 and a rebounder, we need a legit 3, a real rebounder, a better shooting guard, a better coach, another decent 3 and maybe something else.

We’re a jump shooting team and Dave Feschuk correctly summarized the reason for the NJ loss in a single sentence:

“..their jump-shot-heavy offense couldn’t produce the preferable haul of long-range swishes”

We can talk about our defense for eons at a time but the heavy reliance of our offense on outside jumpers is too much. The always crucial Points in the Paint stat has always been against us and over the last three years there’s been nothing done to remedy that. Yeah we average 100.24 which is good for 13th in the league but what gets masqueraded is that we get into long stretches where we’re comfortable trading baskets with teams that know very well that when it comes down to it in the fourth quarter, they’ll be able to get a stop and we won’t. We lack a clutch performer, Chris Bosh is a power forward and that’s probably the last position player you want originating your offense in the clutch, it’s not a shock that the fourth quarter is usually his worst. I respect Chris Bosh for playing hard on both ends but his clutch game focuses on trying to get fouled rather than trying to score – not a good #1 strategy. In another Feschuk article, he’s absolving Sam Mitchell and blaming the fourth quarter blues on Bosh:

…if your $13 million all-star can’t stick an elbow in a smaller man’s eye and score at a game’s biggest moments, in a league in which the best player on the floor so often prevails, you’ve got bigger problems than the contents of the clipboard.

Harsh but warranted criticism. However, Sam Mitchell gets a big fat F on his coaching this season regardless of how well Bosh has done in the clutch. His failure to establish a consistent rotation, develop Bargnani (yes, he takes some blame for that), handle the TJ Ford situation and tighten up his X’s and O’s have no doubt proven that the Coach of the Year awards don’t mean shit. His post-game analysis of things has become mundane and it always boils down to making shots and just playing “better”. Sure, he doesn’t have much to work with but its not like he’s helped improve one area of this team from opening day. Even Sam Vincent’s ahead of Mitchell at this point.

As I’m typing this Kevin Durant just hit a deeeep bomb to tie the game in overtime at 135.

The question is how do the Raptors salvage the rest of the season and the playoffs. What can they do that might make this campaign a relative success and not a drastic reverse from last season? Winning a playoff round is looking more and more unlikely, the development of Andrea Bargnani (arguably our core piece) has been a huge disappointment, our successful PG combo from last year has been a source of more disruption than production, our bench has declined (especially defensively) and generally speaking there hasn’t been a single area where we’ve improved from last year. The answer of course I don’t have (maybe we need a hero?) But I know that even if we do somehow manage to fluke some playoff success by some sheer stroke of luck, it’s going to be a hollow victory because the knowing supporter is well aware of the problems that this team has.

We have five games left and even if we win all five, it won’t mean a damn thing aside from getting some soon to be squashed momentum on our side. I want Atlanta to catch us so we can drop to 8th and face Boston, at least Bosh will get an up-close look at greatness when he faces Kevin Garnett and take something away from the experience. If we face Detroit they’ll just put on a technical marvel of how to dismantle a team broken at the nucleus – if you think the Raptors have issues shooting the ball right now, wait till Billups, Wallace and Co. get done clamping down on Parker, Bosh and Forderon.

Let’s look past the technical issues, the thing to be most questioned about this team is its mental toughness and willingness to fight. There have been very few occasions where this team has played playoff intensity basketball or shown a determined grit and desire to make a consistent defensive stand. Never have we stood up for a teammate after a hard foul, rarely have we shown a willingness to win a game in the paint and play tenacious physical basketball in the trenches, almost never to be found is that deep confidence that even the hated Vince Carter displayed late in the fourth quarter. The swagger and killer instinct hasn’t been there all year and it’s left up to the smallest guys on the court to rev up a team whose heart seems to be missing.

There are times when one thinks back to Charles Oakley and even Antonio Davis (like him or hate him) and realizes that those types of players bought intangibles to a team that are almost a necessity to any rebuilding project. It’s that touch that we miss right now. Say what you will about Glen Grunwald but when he saw a problem, he tried to fix it. It may have gotten him in trouble once in a while but at least he acted and built a pretty damn good team at one point – it was Lenny that couldn’t figure his end out.

This summer is looming large for the Raptors, we need to take a long hard look at Andrea Bargnani and see what we have in him, if it’s just a continuation of status quo, we need to dump him right after bumping up his trade value. The TJ/Jose thing is a mess and someone needs to go (TJ has some great value, I sincerely believe that), summer signings and trades (note the plural) are almost a must if we plan on finishing anything above than 4th in the Atlantic. Our scouts (taking Final Four off) need to look at the draft and see if there are any sleepers that can help this team right now, we don’t need any more Joey Grahams or Jamario Moons, we need some players that can take the pressure off of Bosh. In other words, we have a lot of work to do and Bryan Colangelo and Maurizio Gherardini better not have any vacations planned.

One might even say that the summer has already started.

You would think after earning an undeserved lifeline courtesy of Anthony Parker the Raptors would play five minutes of good basketball tonight. It didn’t happen and we crumbled to a miserable defeat at the hands of the Wizards who played without Caron Butler and Gilbert Arenas. Before we start ripping, bashing and placing blame, let’s give a collective round of applause to Eddie Jordan who made the adjustments on Bosh and the Raptors in real-time and silenced the Raptors best player into a woeful second half and overtime. In short, we played bad and got out-coached but might’ve still had a chance if we’d just played harder.

The Raptors downfall tonight was eerily familiar, lack of perimeter defense by leaving shooters wide open, helping off the wrong people and giving up 19 offensive rebounds (4 in OT, haha) which were converted to points at an alarming rate. We got outmanned 57-44 (19-12) and gave up 5 threes to Deshawn Stevenson and 3 to Roger Mason Jr, the last of which came after Calderon and Humphries couldn’t figure out if they were supposed to switch or not. That play and the late, late Jamison tip-in were the microcosms of the Raptors defensive performance which ranged somewhere between careless to lazy all game along. Anthony Parker elaborates on the problem:

“It’s the same thing, nothing’s changed,” Anthony Parker said of the rebounding problem. “It’s going to continue to haunt us until we get better at it. … In games like this, it comes back to bite us.”

Yeah, we couldn’t rebound a fucking apple fall off a tree.

Aside from a 3 minute stretch where we erased the 11 point lead thanks to some Washington turnovers and a hustling Bosh, our defense was as bad as one can remember it to be. Compounding our technical problems on defense was the lack of hustle or willingness to stop Washington which got any shot they wanted anytime they wanted. We played like we had already won the game when Butler went down half an hour before tipoff.

Forgive me for painting a picture of doom but losing to a severely shorthanded team in an uninspired performance doesn’t fill me with anything positive to stay. Aside from Jose Calderon, the Raptors were struggling to find a consistent scorer, even Bosh was only effective in the first half and after that was the victim of a defensive plan by Eddie Jordan which focused on doubling him and allowing him ample space on the perimeter which ultimately seduced him into shooting jumpers. Forget the offense of Andray Blatche, it was his defense on Bosh late in the game which prevented the Raptors from trading baskets with the Wiz. Chris Bosh was hoping to draw the foul more than trying to score in overtime which is usually a good option but late in the games you don’t get the same calls you get in the first quarter. Calderon’s 23/13 were big, he hit some huge threes which kept the Wizard lead to manageable levels but unfortunately it all amounted to nothing. Bosh’s big night of 37/12 was first-half heavy and only saw us take a four point lead into halftime because of our bad, bad defense. A wasted effort really.

Yes, Anthony Parker had a horrible game, a real stinker and you can point to him as one of the reasons we lost but I wouldn’t rip on him too much. It’s not like he took bad shots, turned the ball over and forced things. He just didn’t hit his open shots tonight and we should all expect that from him once in a while. His perimeter defense has never been good and if you’ve got the game taped and have some spare time, go through it and you’ll find him lunging at three point shooters after helping out on somebody else for no reason. I don’t see why Sam hasn’t address this glaring problem in his game or why people don’t talk about it more, to me that’s the area where he needs to improve the most.

The other more subtle reason we lost today was because we got nothing from Delfino, he’s a player who we rely tremendously on to play intelligent basketball but when he reverts to taking bad shots his entire game goes down the toilet. Tonight he wasn’t hitting his threes which meant he didn’t rebound the ball or attack the rim, something which we desperately needed to do in the second half given the PITP numbers. Jason Kapono’s having a very hard time finding his shots and we should consider either trading him or creating some plays for him because teams have very obviously adjusted and are completely taking him out of his game. Of course it doesn’t help that he tends to catch the ball just inside the three point line guarded by two of his own players, those two sequences in the fourth quarter were sick, twisted and hilarious.

The start of a third quarter was a horror show. Bosh wasn’t getting touches and we weren’t looking to force things with him, Washington picked up the tempo and recognized that we were there to be had. They went inside with Blatche while we turned the ball over and took jumpers. The first three quarters we played were very similar to the ones in Philadelphia where we were in cruise control while playing at a very mediocre level. There was this very weird sense of complacency amongst the Raptors that was as surprising as it was maddening. Whatever Sam said at halftime, it didn’t work. Here’s what he should’ve said:

We are lucky to be up by 4 in this game, we’ve played horrible defense and are leaving their shooters wide open. Make Stevenson drive, double Jamison and force a pass out of him. Andrea: take Haywood out to the three point line on offense so he doesn’t bother us on the boards. Chris: keep doing what you’re doing but know that they’re going to make it harder for you in the second half so establish position early, when they double, Anthony and Delfino will be cutting, got it? Good. Hey, CD, WTF is up with the threes? None of that shit unless you’re wide open. Lock down on Stevenson. Guys, we’re switching 1-3 to prevent them getting open shots, let’s see how that goes….

Hope you guys remembered Andrea Bargnani’s Boston performance because we’re probably going to have to wait till late March to see that again. In fairness to Bargnani he did manage to toil 6 rebounds, a couple were even impressive, but the overall throughput only amounted to 3 points on 1-6 FG. I suppose this is the place where we mention something about his confidence, defense and shot selection but its all gotten a little too old and repetitive so there’s really no point. All I have to say is that we need him to be our Andray Blatche but he’s playing like Will Purdue in his final days. It’s just amazing what scouting reports can do to you.

It’ll be awfully hard to watch tomorrow’s game knowing we just blew an opportunity to sweep the Wiz 2-0. I thought when Sam told his team “Let’s play some basketball” at the end of regulation that we’d take it up a notch and thwart the deflated Wizards which is the opposite of what happened. The Wizards took the opportunities presented to them, played very hard and simply wanted the game more. All you really have to look at is the way Dominic McGuire ripped his 10 rebounds (6 offensive) to know that they were ready to play and we were not.

Damon Stoudamire. I’m not sure what my feelings are here, it all depends on TJ’s injury status, if he’s actually done for the season then we need to bring in Damon but if he’s coming back after the ASG, having three true PGs would cause a bit of a logjam, no?

One-Liners:

* Chris Bosh: Great first half, miserable 2nd and OT. I’m not sure what the wisdom in him catching the ball at the top of the three point line after a pick ‘n pop really is. His 3 late in the game was the worst play of the season.

* Jose Calderon is the best spot up shooter for the Raptors. Kapono is close but if you’re not shooting the ball, you’re not a shooter.

* Jamario Moon should be fined for taking jumpers with more than 2 seconds on the shot clock. I don’t care if they go in sometimes, he should not be shooting, it’s embarrassing.

* Our defensive confusion on Washington shooters and their complete dominance in the paint reminded me of the Phoenix game. They had a plan to get Bosh out of the paint, we didn’t have a plan to shut down Jamison or Stevenson. Sam, care to comment?

* The trading deadline is fast approaching and we’ve had to needs since the start of the season: defensive rebounding and second scorer. BC needs to address one of them, I’m not sure acquiring Stoudamire does anything here, he might be a nice fit but it doesn’t solve our existing issues.

* Juan Dixon played a good backup PG tonight and Kris Humphries was the reason we were able to tie this game in regulation. He was our primary scorer in the fourth quarter which doesn’t say much about how our offense reacts under pressure.

Till tomorrow.

There was a little too much inflated optimism going about around the club and I’m sure with a loss to European Club Real Madrid, the balloon of false positives has been popped. In the European training camp all I’ve been hearing is this:

• How great Bargnani is.
• How great our PG duo is and how we really have two starting PGs who can do no wrong.
• Garbajosa is like our Ben Wallace
• What a genius Mitchell really is for holding us together last year
• How nobody’s giving us any “respect” in the Atlantic
• And other such uplifting theories that make you actually believe that we have a great team going into the season

Now while all the above may be true to some extent, it’s time for a big fat reality check. It’s important to figure out why we lost to Real Madrid, a very average European team with a helter-skelter style of play that relies almost exclusively on outside shooting and a big man that takes more time to turn than an 18-wheeler. The core of our problems tonight were on the defensive end which is no surprise but the level to which Madrid dominated the glass during key parts of the game was disheartening. How easy it was for Louis Bullock and Lous Llull to completely break down our perimeter defense and then kick it out to Charles Smith for wide open threes was reminiscent of Jason Kidd kicking it out to Boki Nachbar.

It’s evident that Bargnani will improve his defense this year but it’s even more evident that it might not be to the level which is demanded by the current roster. With that in mind we’ve got to look at some real options of bringing a tough interior presence which can help clean the boards, now Garbajosa might have the heart of Rudy but he’s still on the smaller/leaner side and is far from anything imposing. It happens that Sam Mitchell recognizes this:

“We’ve got guys who can shoot the basketball, we have guys who can pass the ball, we have to find guys who’ll go in there and do the dirty work, play that physical role for us.”

OK, so at least there’s acknowledgment that there’s a problem which is the first step to fixing it. Get it done Bryan.

Let’s turn our attention to some players that played like they were auditioning for the D-League, namely Joey Graham. Leaving numbers aside for a moment (2-8 for 5pts in 23 minutes), Joey’s got that ‘bull in a china shop’ look. He’s not quite sure how to break down his man so he just tries to force his way past him (usually towards the dead-end of the baseline) and throw up something similar to a shot-attempt. His other offensive move is the straight-up jumper from 18 feet which has a success rate of somewhere in the low 30′s. Simply put, he’s just not good enough to help us. There isn’t one part of his game which is superior to an average NBA player which unfortunately for us makes him the worst kind of trade bait.

I’ve never liked that we’re a perimeter team, I’ve lived with it and been glad when we’ve won but something about operating from 18+ feet most of the time gives me an uneasy feeling. Maybe that’s why it’s acceptable to tolerate TJ Ford’s occasional wildness, he’s one guy on his team whose first option is to get to the rim, not Bosh and definitely not Bargnani, our two cornerstones. Tonight the outside shot wasn’t going down (Kapono 3-10FG, many wide open, Delfino 0-5FG, Calderon 2-6FG) and the rebounding was missing and we were getting outhustled so it’s somewhat surprising that we didn’t get blown out. But then again we’re an NBA team and are supposed to win these games, even without Bosh. Aside from him, there isn’t a legitimate run-stopper on this team, somebody you can give the ball to who can put an end to the 8-0 run by scoring or going to the FT line. Even Bosh for that matter will rely on the outside shot in these situations but even then he’s the best we’ve got.

Maybe I’m overreacting, after all it’s a preseason game where the primary goal is to get your run in and not win the game but even then you still want to come out of it with a good feeling. That good feeling was nowhere to be found, except maybe in TJ Ford who was dominating the game in the first quarter but was taken out for Calderon because that’s just how Sam does things, doesn’t matter who’s in form and who’s playing well, you got to make the substitution. Hopefully this trend doesn’t continue in the real season. Why is Anthony Parker unheard from for looooong stretches of the game? He took 3 shots in 27 minutes, Juan Dixon managed that in 3. If there’s anybody who’s got the green light to do something it’s him, again, this is one of those things you just hope doesn’t happen in a real game.

Grab the feed.

Translation:

“I will find the referees, murder them and then [beep] their daughters”

Nice. Naturally, there’s a massive discussion of this on RealGM.

On a completely unrelated note, YouTubing Bill Walton gets you this video where he’ s made a connection between The Age of Romanticism, Beethoven’s 3rd Symphony in E-flat and Boris Diaw. I’m not joking.

Nowhere but in the NBA will you find material like this. The season is approaching, grab the feed.

Also missed was the Toronto FC/Chivas clash which saw TFC go six straight games without scoring a goal. When I said ‘Season Over’ a few posts ago I got flamed on certain discussion boards. I’m not i-told-you-soing but I told you so.

Finally, coming back from Kansas City at Toronto airport I see a big tall black dude and he looks familiar, it’s Chris Bosh. All I said to him was “Hey, Chris” and he’s like: “Hey, what’s up man”. Judging by where he was picking up his luggage, he was coming from Las Vegas. I snapped a pic without security looking:

So you work hard on your blog to try to get people to read it, you beg Arseblog to link to you, you put up highlights etc etc. Turns out I’m wasting time because I just realized looking at the WordPress Dashboard that all I have to do is create a site and put up some Flickr porn and booyeah! you make it to the frontpage of WordPress.

I also worked up a new header for the blog. It’s a work in progress but at least on first glance it appears like a sports blog.

Later.

Bargnani is the X-Factor for the Raptors, not CB4. Chris Bosh will likely have a season comparable to the last one and his production can be estimated with a fair amount of accuracy. But it’s Bargnani that can change the dynamics of this team, if he excels offensively and improves on the defensive end, the Raptors can go from “let’s hope we can win a series” to “let’s get to the EC finals”.

NBA offenses are based on mismatches and God bless Bargnani because he provides one for us every time he’s on the floor, last year he took fair advantage of centers who choose to lay off him by hitting the three, but then again he also passed up 80% of opportunities where he could’ve posted up a smaller guy and made him regret his height. It’s purely this fact and this fact alone that can elevate us from wannabe contender to a team that isn’t written off automatically come playoff time.

Even though he was a rookie, Bargnani was still our most under-utilized weapon. Nobody’s asking him to become Nowitzki overnight but it’s fair to expect him to do the right thing when he’s on the court: use his height in the post, use his frame to collect defensive rebounds, hit the outside shot and most of all do not let defenses off the hook by going away from your strengths and their weaknesses. It comes down to how well Mitchell can recognize potentially advantageous situations for Bargnani and run plays that will allow him to use his tools effectively for the greater good. I know that’s asking a lot.

The goal for Bargnani should be to attract a double team by December, if you see that happening you know he’s being a pain in the ass for teams. Imagine if Bargs attracts two people, that leaves us playing 4 on 3 with one of the 4 being CB4. Now that’s an attractive situation. Aside from Bargs, I don’t see anyone on the Raptors remotely bothering the defense to double team in the post which is where most opportunities originate.Up until last year it was Bosh that had the highest ceiling of any player on the Raps but that doesn’t hold true anymore. Last year we were able to gauge what Bosh’s true potential might be, and although there’s no doubt that he has a chance to be a truly great player when it’s all said and done, it’s Bargnani that can be even better (it’s true, look it up). Here’s a general prediction of what will happen next year with the rest of the team.

TJ Ford: He’ll have a similar season as last. Maybe he’ll improve his shooting a little but nothing that’ll make him a perimeter threat. Should he manage to get himself under control (which is like asking the Road Runner to slow down), we’ll be in better shape but we all know TJ is TJ and will play like TJ until the day he retires.

Jose Calderon: Defenses will adapt to him and he won’t find it that easy to just come off a screen and lay the ball in. If he has a repeat of last year it’ll be a big bonus for the Raps. You have to be delusional not to see that. The best he could do is improve his shot, just like TJ.

Chris Bosh: Hmm. Can he repeat last season? For sure. Can he do even better? Probably. Will he dominate games ala Duncan or even KG? No, he’s not there yet and there’s even a chance that he might never be. It’s time everybody recognizes that CB4 is a very good player with a chance to be a star, he isn’t there yet and relying on him to improve dramatically and start taking over games and playoff series consistently is really, really unrealistic. He’ll be more productive next year just based on experience and more strength (assuming he’s close to a gym in the summer) but he isn’t going to increase his PPG by 10 points or his RPG by 5. Those transformations are reserved for two types of players: 1) those who finally started to get some serious playing time after being buried on the bench and 2) Superman.

Jason Kapono/Mo Pete: If Jason Kapono is a 10, Mo Pete is at least a 7. I’m aggregating defense, rebounding and shooting into one and saying that if Kapono excels in shooting, Mo Pete beats him in defense/rebounding. So although we added a great shooter, we also lost a pretty decent player who was in the doghouse for the better part of the year. I’m for the Kapono move (less money and 3 yr deal would’ve been nicer) but losing Mo Pete will have an effect unless Joey Graham steps it up a a few notches, which I think is hoping too much given his tendency to lapse into paralysis in the middle of a possession.

Anthony Parker/Jorge Garbajosa: How much do you think a 31+ player can improve after playing one year in the NBA? Parker is Mr. Consistent and he’ll be just that; unless Sam Mitchell had some visions where he was shown how to run a plays which open up AP for jumpers from the elbows, he’ll still be planted at the three point line waiting for a kick-out. Garbajosa’s offensive potential is limited and I don’t see him NOT going through a couple 15 game stretches where he can’t hit a 15 footer. His offense might be sporadic but his defense will always be there.

Given the general disposition of the above cases to hold true, it leaves the Raptors with one man who can realistically improve in such a way that for every degree he improves, the Raptors improve ten.

I looked for a nearby trash can to puke my guts out and couldn’t find one, the only other option was to hurl all over the stereo that was blasting out the Champions League theme that originally attracted me to that part of the museum. Instead of the CL theme they should be playing this video over and over again. It’s much more fitting of the real story and would do justice to everybody involved on that most unfortunate of days.

The Nou Camp sure runs a pretty crappy tour, you can’t even sit in the players seats and there’s not even enough space to stand on the sidelines with all the gypsies around. You can’t even take pics in certain areas, WTF? I also did the Santiago Bernabeu tour which was much better, all I kept thinking about was the Henry goal. Here are some pics from both stadiums.

They’re selling Henry shirts in almost every store in Barcelona. It hurts to see that shit. There’s so many kids wearing Barca clothing (and I mean shorts, shirts and socks) that you don’t even think that it’s a football uniform anymore. The Nou Camp is a money making machine really, no wonder they can afford anybody they want.

I’m beginning to see Jose Antonio Reyes’ point about the weather. See I was in London where it was hot, balmy with overcast skies and girls looked like they wore diapers. In Madrid and Barcelona the weather was picture perfect and even the ugly women were somewhat good looking. I say all the power to Reyes for wanting to leave England for Spain, he just wants to get some ass in the sun. Can’t really blame him.

The biggest thing I realized was how inferior Toronto really is to Barcelona or Madrid in terms of public transportation, airports, street system, cleanliness, facilities, restaurants, atmosphere, nightlife and just about anything else you can think of. The only good thing about coming back was the in-flight movies – Children of Men and The Lives of Others. The former is good, the latter is brilliant.

The most chaotic time I ever had was ordering a coffee and a sandwich at Heathrow Airport, that place is overcrowded to the point of a stampede breaking out any second. Also swung by Marrakech where the temperature never dips below 65 Celsius. Great historic town, worth a visit if you’re into history ‘n stuff and aren’t afraid of getting sun tattooed to the point of dehydration.

Here’s something for you Raptors fans, do you recognize anyone in this pic?

I’ll get back to blabbering about the Raps, TFC and the Gunners soon enough.

PS: Thanks to my wife for taking a blurry photograph of me and the Champions League trophy. I mean how often do you get a chance to take a shot like that? Don’t worry honey, I’ll still try to love you.

Dirk Nowitzki: Follows the prototypical white guy forumula: tall and white. Most white guys prolong their NBA careers by a) being a banger or b) being a great shooter. Dirk’s obviously the latter but he can also take it to the rim with force and can use his size to his advantage, something fellow whitey centers (like Shawn Bradley) could never do. That high arching jumper of his is damn near impossible to stop because you end up touching his elbow or it looks like you’ve touched his elbow and whistle-happy Steve Javie is not going to miss it. No sir he’s not.

Manu Ginobili: Argentine import that looks like you could guard him but blows by you at will and can pull up for deep threes and leave you wondering what the hell to do to guard him? The answer: force him to go right. There are stretches in the game where he’s unstoppable to the point where the coach will use up all his timeouts just to give his defender a breather. Arguably the best foreign player to play in the NBA after Nowtizki, if he figures out how to drive to his right, he’ll be an MVP candidate. But then again, he plays with Tim Duncan so the last time he saw a double-team was in South America.

Steve Nash: Most white guys make up for their lack of talents by height, not Steven Nash, he’s NBA short and still manages to dominate games through meticulous fast-break runs, perfect pick ‘n rolls and a deadly jumper. It’s abnormal how good he’s become over the last five years. Canadians used to roll their eyes at him when local media used to showcase him as one of the few Canuck NBA players (along with Rick Fox) on Sunday afternoon halftime shows. It must be said that the the man is highly erratic at times and a horrible defender. But despite that he managed to win (steal?) 2 MVPs. As cousin Shahid once said, you can’t hand out the MVP award to a player who is below average in 50% of the game.

Andrei Kirilenko: Yes, I know the guy cried after Game 2 but in physical speak, he is one of the most gifted athletes (white or any other color) to play in the NBA. AK47 was reduced to a Super Soaker in the playoffs but still remains a man that can take over any given game with his slashing ability and dominating defensive play. It’s too bad Jerry Sloan isn’t trading the guy to the Raptors; if/when he gets his head sewed on straight, he’ll realize that unleashing that DPOY kind of talent isn’t that difficult. He also needs a barber so that he stops looking like the villain from Die Hard movies. This is not related but his wife lets him cheat on her once a year.

Kirk Hinrich: As you can see the list starts to get pretty thin once we classify it by race, but take nothing away from Hinrich. He’s a good shooter of the ball, very good defensive player (long arms) and is competitive and tenacious. The Kansas product is a fundamentally sound point guard that will never become a superstar but does have what it takes to have a long career while playing at a high level. I think any team would gladly have him on board and he’s one of the main reasons of the Bulls’ resurgence. He’s got Mark Price written all over him.

Mehmet Okur: Damn, I don’t believe its already come down to Okur. Mehmet is starting to look like a real NBA player and not the guy that bags your groceries. It all started to happen for the Turk when he got traded to the confines of Jerry Sloan’s structured offense and out of the thuggish atmosphere that is Motown. The Jazz offense is more structured than a Detroit correctional facility and Okur has found in it his niche as a bruiser and as an outside shooter, the latter when coming out of a set-piece is damn near lethal. If he learns a few more lost-post moves, he might be one of those guys that hinges on the outskirts of the All-Star ballot.

At this point I’m searching for names like Mike Miller, Luke Ridnour, Andres Nocioni, Adam Morrison and Andrew Bogut, who are all decent players but nothing to write an entire paragraph about. I’d say Andrea Bargnani might make it to the top three over the next few years and if those Nowitzki comparisons hold true, might even make it to top spot.

The draft is approaching and with it comes the anticipation of new blood, but alas, the team which represents the most ancient of breed is left without an option to choose. The men in charge have bartered away the chance to pick from the fresh crop and only another barter or a purchase of chance can allow a selection on the 28th day of the sixth month. I am a meek and humble man or maybe I am humble because I am meek, either way I have a proposition which I present to my esteemed audience which of course there is none. I say let the devil take the draft, the younger the blood, the more nurturing it needs, no, demands! There is sufficient young blood in the present battalion and adding an experienced hand with tricks up his sleeve is to me far more valuable than another youth who only seeks to gratify his most immediate needs and desires.

My hole in the ground presents me with an environment which allows me to spend days and nights in thought, uninterrupted by the annoyances of everyday existence and away from my companion’s love affair with reality television. I sit here in my hole contemplating whether we have a squadron that is adequate enough to meet success in the elimination stage of the tournament and a resounding, booming answer in the negative deafens my ears. My heart, it speaks of triumph and hope, of success and the maturation of our leader Christopher, it speaks of the elevation of Terrence into a true and fearless leader but the devil, he keeps whispering in my ear that the previous campaign was but a hoax resulting because of the misfortune of others (PHI, BOS, IND) and not because of the valiant effort put forth by our heroes. I shut him out but he speaks louder, so loud that I second guess the very elements that comprise our formula.

I am being negative again, Dmitri, my only friend keeps reminding me that things are for the better and the new harvest will yield a crop that will make us proud and will be one that will enable us to participate until the late days of the fifth month or with some luck, even the sixth. There is truth in that but I retort that Christopher will need to improve and his mates will need to be better than that what they were in the year gone by, the latter is a tough task given that the other armies in the arena have now taken note of the ancient breed and will be ready this time around. Fate was gentle enough to assign the element of surprise on our side last campaign but this time the opponent will be ready, prepared and knowing what to expect. It is our high commander’s duty to prepare the troops and to tutor them in the skill of half-court execution because it will be a skill that will come most useful when a score or two is needed down the stretch. Our defensive vulnerabilities resulted in our exit from this years tournament and if things aren’t rectified, the appropriate components replaced, the proper philosophical adjustments made, we cannot hope to compete in the dark battles of the association.

Grant Hill, a legend in is own right, is available. Depending on the cost of acquiring such an asset, I would not hesitate to get his esteemed signature on a contract of a year or two. Perhaps it is just my madness reaching an irrecoverable stage but the nimble mind thinks he possesses what we desperately need: a creator at the small forward position which can turn something out of nothing while still being able to construct a shot of the highest percentage when time calls. Aside from being a man possessing great court-vision, a respectable mid-range game, Hill is a man of great character and a gentleman, a fact that will only have a positive impact on the team. I will not insult the reader’s higher intelligence by describing the obvious health problems of Hill.

Esteemed and superior reader, forgive me if I have wasted your time. The only punishment for such a crime is for my abject self to return to my hole and continue with the self-loathing and despair that has become this off-season.